This article 9 important points for parents to handle their child tantrums explains how parents can handle their child tantrums. It is very common for children to grow angry when they grow up. Do you know how young children deal with difficult feelings? What helps you avoid situations that trigger your child’s tantrums, and make a plan to manage them.
Generally, after 4 years, various forms of tantrums are very common in children. This can include spectacular outbreaks of anger, frustration, and chaotic behavior (when your child loses control). You can see their cry, scream, hard limbs, arch back, kick, fall, flare, or run away. In some cases, a child can hold their breath, vomit, break things, or become aggressive as part of a scene.
Reasons for Child Tantrums include:
Temperament can affect when they become depressed and become emotional. Some children simply have more tantrums than others.
Stress, hunger, fatigue, and overstimulation.
Insecurities in a child.
Situations that children cannot easily cope with, for example when another child brings a new and bigger toy.
You may see fewer tantrums over time as your child grows and gets better at dealing with bad feelings. The child can also improve using words to communicate their wants and needs but tantrums can continue. Even in adulthood, if they become a reliable way for your child to get what they want.
There is a lot that you can do to reduce the chance of living this habit even at school-going age. The most important thing is to make sure that you do not accidentally reward your child’s tantrums.
Dealing with tantrums with a child in the different age group
Dealing with tantrums of young children
Some important approaches to dealing with tantrums of young children – This approach is suitable for very young children about 1-2 years old or for children whose tantrums are not very frequent or severe.
Think about how to reduce their stress. For example, tired, hungry, and overstimulated children are more likely to have tantrums. So, arrange for their problem to be resolved.
Try to identify the elements triggering the tantrum. Some situations may include shopping, travel, or food tantrums. So think about ways to make these situations easier for your child. For example, you can set the conditions so that your child is not tired, eats on time, or is busy for some time.
If you take the risk of teaching your child at the same time, then their tantrums get their full attention and participation in it. Therefore, it has been said to let the child calm down and then talk to him.
Ensure that the tantrum should not be rewarded. If in tantrum action your child wants something or does not want to do something like getting out of the bathroom. Stubbornly wants you to do something. At that time you can gently urge the child that he should come out of the bathroom. If your child wants something by tantrums, don’t give him what he wants.
When there is a tantrum, keep calm or even show anger if you get angry because getting angry can make the situation worse for both of you. If you want to say something to the child, keep your voice calm and balanced, and work consciously and slowly.
Keep your mind steady and calm. If you sometimes tantrum your child when you scold her loudly without knowing what she wants, then the problem can get worse.
Reward your child’s good behavior. Praise your child enthusiastically when he handles his frustrations well.
Awareness about how your child feels when he is irritable or over-stimulated. If you can see that a stem is going on, try to distract your child with another activity.
When a child tantrums, wait for him to calm down. Ignore the behavior until it stops. Once a tantrum is in full swing, it is too late. At that time your child is not in a listening mood.
If your child is over two years old
- More tantrums are very harmful to pleasant family life.
2. Tantrums cause a lot of inconvenience to you and your child.
3. Tough times are hard to ignore.
4. When he taunts you can get angry and hurt your child.
What can you do to Get rid of Child Tantrums
The stages of the following approach have been tested and found to be helpful in many years of scientific research helping parents manage difficult child behavior.
1. Keep a note of your child’s tantrums for 7-10 days. Create a table with four columns. Record the action of the day of the tantrum, where it took place, what happened some time ago, and then what happened shortly thereafter.
2. Note the conditions that increase the likelihood of tantrums occurring (eg, fatigue, shopping, food). Plan ways to avoid these situations or to make them less stressful for your child.
3. Identify the trigger for your child’s tantrum. Normally, no one is thought to be the reason for provoking tantrums or when asked to do something. Find ways to reduce or avoid tantrum triggers for which consider the following.
When you say ‘no’ to a child
Keep attractive but delicate items inaccessible. Older children make their favorite toys inaccessible.
Say yes only when it is appropriate to do so.
Provide an option when work is denied.
Distract your child from any other activity.
when you request a child to do something
4. Give children work whenever instructed. It is easy to tell children what to do all the time.
5. Check that your instructions are appropriate. This is more likely to lead to tantrums if your child is already doing what you are asking them to do.
6. Tell your child in advance to do something. In this way, you know that your activity is about to change.
Offer options whenever possible.
Frustration with an object or activity.
Provide help before the child gets irritated.
Keep disappointing toys or activities out of reach.
Spend some time showing your kid how to utilize the object.
7. Setup a reward system to give your child extra encouragement to remain calm. You can use a star chart or random prizes to encourage the child to do the little things they like. For example toy cars or Barbie dolls etc.
8. Help your child learn and practice coping skills in situations where he normally tantrums. For example, tell the child that he or she has the opportunity to show how calm and intelligent he can be. Or again take a full breath and calm down. I want you to be calm when you are near me. Can you do that?
9. Here are two possible options when your child throws a tantrum –
Ignore the tantrum. Stay away from your child. Do not look at him and talk to him while tantrums. This can help get away from your child if you can do it safely.
Use of time is an effective strategy if tantrums are particularly severe or it is impossible to ignore tantrums.
Get help for yourself as a Parent
It is a good idea to seek the help of a professional in the following situations.
It is difficult to control the tantrums of the child while the nuisance is increasing.
When you have trouble controlling your own feelings and find yourself angry and lose your temper.
Due to the tantrums of a child, they start restricting their activities and the rest of their family.
Do not judge yourself as your parents by how many tantrums your child has. Remember that all children have tantrums in some, more than others. Rather, focus on how you respond. Nevertheless, give yourself enough routes to be human and not panic. Accept that you cannot directly control your child’s emotions or behavior.
Accept that change takes time. There is a lot to do before showing tantrums to your child. Beware of the thoughts that your child is doing purposefully or tries to catch you. Children do not plan to throw tantrums intentionally because they do not yet have the skills to deal with the situation if they are caught in a bad habit. If other people look at you incorrectly, ignore them.